The problem wasn't that he didn't love her
The problem was that she was in love with him so much.






 

SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

I have loved you the way a poor child loves luxuries. I have watched you with the look of want and desire the way that a poor child looks at an expensive toy from the window of a famous toy shop. Not from a distance. Just on the other side of a glass window. So close yet so far... A glass...that's all there is between them, a glass for all ordinary people...but for the poor child and the toy its a distance that can not be overcome even in all years of the poor child's life. A difference created by class and standards only to tell the poor child where he belongs and from where he cant go any further. 
A distance separated by just a glass...so close yet so far...
I have loved you like that. Mixed with want and deprivation. Wanting you, deprived of you. A toy that the poor child loves all his childhood, craves through out his youth, works for as an adult and is left with regret of never being able to have it once he grows old. The toy on the other side, knowing the love of the poor child wants to go to him. If it could get up and go, it would have done it long ago...the day it saw the eyes of the poor child fall on him with love and craving...the toy knows who will value it; those who can afford it but throw away soon once its work of entertainment is done...or the one who cant afford it but craves for it, will love it as his most prized possession for always. That's the love of a poor child and an expensive toy. That's love of dream and value. That's the love desire and want. That's love of me and you...in our own separate ways... Although in my case, I don't know who is the poor child and who is toy...you or me? Who wants the other more? Who deserves better? And who will be wandering the streets with nothing tomorrow and who will be given in wrong hands...

Me

I woke up that morning. Beside me, he didn't.

But who am I writing all this for?
Nobody knows this world of me?
for who?

I guess just myself...its another failed attempt of trying to be what I once was.

So I check my blog after ages...felt like meeting someone I once knew. An old friend, relative...
Not realizing it was me...a ME I have forgotten...
and perhaps can never be again.

Like a caterpillar who is desperate to be a butterfly, a beautiful delicate butterfly.
And once it has become. longs to be the caterpillar it was.
Why?
Because it realizes that the butterfly might be beautiful but can never be as care-free as it was. can never be as innocent as it was.
Freedom and innocence once gone can never come again.
The same way I can not be myself again

REINCARNATION

Reincarnated.

I have been born again, feels like it. A part of me that I forgot due to my carelessness, A part that I lost in time unalterable now. Something that I don't have my power upon, something I can not tame, something I can not control;
TIME
kills you, and makes you.

Two and half a years
Over 956 days
22944 hours
1376640 hours
82598400 seconds
and countless moments...
LOST.

Where was I?
LOST.


Now, I found a part of me, that makes me feel I have been reincarnated.
But I know better than anyone else the result of all such temporary reincarnations...

"Reincarnated...just to die again"