It hurts...

It took you years and years to finally open up to someone. You gather the strength to tell them the happy stories of your childhood and some more strength to tell them your fears.
and the reason behind those fears.
You learn to hug to someone . You learn to sleep with them, never imgining that life, being the bitch that she is, will snatch them from you.

It hurts...

How sleepy you are after a long tiring day of taking your sick mother to hospitals or a long tiring day of looking for jobs and getting rejected. You know the moment you get in bed you'll sleep. But instead, you sit up till 7.00 a.m, wondering where it all went wrong.

It hurts...

When you are watching episodes from Big Bang Theory and laughing and enjoying, when it hits you, the thought, a sudden wave of nostalgia, you begin to miss them. Not only because the insensitive but cute Sheldon Cooper reminds you of them, but because something that the character said and it reminded you of them.

It hurts...

How a random scene from a drama/movie or even a reality can make you sit down holding to the edge of whatever you find and throw up.

It hurts...

How hours and hours of non-stop talking turned into days and days of fruitless waiting.

It hurts...

How "I'll get a home for us and you can have a library there" changed into "you'll have a home of your own, there one day to keep your books"

It hurts...

How being exclusive turned to "no tags, Please"

It hurts...

It is 3.00 a.m and you can't help shed a few years for them because you miss them and

It hurts...

You have to force yourself out of bed at 4.00 a.m and take a cold shower to stop thinking about them but only end up lying on the cold bathroom floor crying some more.

It hurts...

That you miss them but you can't tell anyone. Not even your friends because all they'd say would be "we warned you"

It hurts...

How you are someone's priority for so long and then wake up one day realizing you are not anymore.


It hurts, so so bad.